Top 10 Movies: 2002

How fitting that the second year of the millennium (but, again, not the decade) was dominated by sequels -- three of the top four grossers were follow-ups: The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers, Star Wars: Attack of the Clones, and Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (what's with the long titles?). All made over $200M. None of them were particularly excellent (although one did crack my top 10 -- guess which one!). The rest of the box-office list is littered with sequels (or the soon-to-be-coined "threequels"): Austin Powers in Goldmember (secretly kinda awesome and probably my favorite of the three), Men in Black II (abjectly dogshit), Die Another Day (crappy). Even the top-grosser, Spider-Man, spawned two sequels of GREATLY varying quality (and an upcoming reboot -- already? seriously? -- that better not have the douchefag from High School Musical or the douchefag from Twilight), further propagating the sequel syndrome that we're still suffering from today. Critically-speaking, 2002 featured the sequel to one of the worst Oscars in recent memory. It was another snoozefest as the big winners (Chicago, The Pianist, and The Hours) beat out more-deserving candidates (Gangs of New York, Adaptation., and Road to Perdition) in nearly every category. Brody over Day-Lewis? Somebody named Ronald Harwood over Charlie Kaufman? For real? This actually happened? I can't wait until they reboot the Oscars and start handing out retroactive awards.

Moving right along, my top-10 list is sequel-free (with one notable exception) and awards-bait free (with one notable exception). There's some good genre films, some under-appreciated work by major directors, multiple sword fights, and two controversial "adaptations." The only thing that's missing is zombies. Apparently. Here are my ten favorites:

Honorable mentions: Bowling for Columbine (Michael Moore's last -- only? -- good film), Ghost Ship (so not kidding), Orange County (the best Farrelly brothers movie they never made), Resident Evil (again, not kidding -- Paul W.S. Anderson knows a thing or two about atmosphere (Event Horizon), The Ring (still the scariest movie I've seen in theaters).

Never saw it: City of God. I should probably rectify this soon.

10) Minority Report
Directed by: Steven Spielberg
Written by: Scott Frank and Jon Cohen
Starring: Tom Cruise, Samantha Morton, Colin Farrell, Max von Sydow

I'm going to try to keep these write-ups a bit shorter, at least this far down the list. Anyway, Steve Spielberg doing a science fiction neo-noir? Based on a Phil Dick story? With Tommy Cruise? Sign me up! I understand the hate for Cruise the celebrity, what with the Scientology and couch-jumping, but he's still a badass movie star (until recently anyway). Also solid here are a pre-coke Colin Farrell and That Guy Hall-of-Famer Neal McDonough (so creepy). The film is a technical marvel (photographed by the Oscar-winning Janusz Kamiński and also won the Sound Editing Oscar), if not exactly a narrative masterpiece. A final note: This film is about 10 to 150,000 times better than the next Cruise/Spielberg collaboration, War of the Worlds.

9) The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers
Directed by: Peter Jackson
Written by: Fran Walsh, Philippa Boyens, and Peter Jackson
Starring: Viggo Mortensen, Ian McKellen, Elijah Woods, Sean Astin, Andy Serkis

"Oooh, look at me, I'm Aragorn, watch me fall off this cliff!" I'm not usually picky about adaptations -- I understand that things sometimes have to change when going to a different medium -- but that particular plot invention did not sit very well with me. It took what was largely an action-oriented picture and brought it to a screeching halt, not to mention the fact that we had to sit through more of Liv Tyler's miserable impression of an elf (one of my only casting issues with the film). I also took great issue with the seizure-inducing editing in the Helm's Deep battle sequence. I think it was a Transformers-esque case of technology not up to par with the director's vision. Those two major flaws aside, the weakest entry in the Rings trilogy still has a lot going for it -- beautiful landscapes (it could be argued that New Zealand is the real star here), top-notch performances from Astin and Serkis (how cool would it have been for him to get some Oscar love?), some iconic scenes (Sméagol/Gollum's moonlit monologue/dialogue comes to mind), and, of course, this gem:



8) Road to Perdition
Directed by: Sam Mendes
Written by: David Self
Starring: Tom Hanks, Paul Newman, Jude Law, Daniel Craig

I actually only saw this for the first time very recently, but it made quite an impression on me. I think it just might be Sam Mendes's best film. It's easily my favorite anyway. American Beauty is excellent, but it doesn't hold up quite as well 10 years later; Jarhead is probably my second favorite (although Deakins is the real star); Revolutionary Road was mediocre at best (and tedious at worst); and Away We Go, while a welcome foray into a more comedic direction, was too simplistic. Road to Perdition packs serious dramatic weight, boasts a plethora of great performances, deconstructs the gangster genre, and features the last work of the late, great Conrad Hall. I'm quite curious to see what direction Mendes takes in his reunion with Craig -- the next Bond film.

7) Confessions of a Dangerous Mind
Directed by: George Clooney
Written by: Charlie Kaufman
Starring: Sam Rockwell, George Clooney, Drew Barrymore, Julia Roberts

My friends and I have this totally straight thing where certain actors, directors, and (rarely) writers achieve "boy status." We'll say things like, "Brad Pitt's my boy" or "Mark Strong is almost at boy status." This probably comes from Old School and Will Ferrell's iconic "You're my boy, Blue!" The exact ins and outs (there's gotta be a better way to say that...) of boy status are unknown; it's kind of a "you know it when you see it" thing. Anyway, I bring that up because George Clooney is my boy (he might even be my #1 boy, but that's a whole other debate). Sam Rockwell is my boy. And, sure as shit, Charlie Kaufman is my boy. He might even be the only writer that has yet achieved boy status (although Bill Monahan might be up there if not for a certain misfire... we'll call it... how about... Sum of Untruths). So yeah. Three boys in one movie, encompassing the director-writer-lead actor triumvirate? I'm not sure this has happened before or since. Add to that Chuck Barris's batshit crazy "autobiography" of which this is an "adaptation" and cool stylized visuals, and you've got yourself one helluva motion picture.

6) Catch Me If You Can
Directed by: Steven Spielberg
Written by: Jeff Nanthanson
Starring: Leonardo DiCaprio, Tom Hanks, Christopher Walken

Very much a modern-day (well, it mostly takes place during the '60s) picaresque, full of whimsy and humor, Catch Me If You Can is very much in the Indiana Jones/Hook vein of Spielberg's oeuvre (I do love that word). The movie just oozes charm, from Tom Hank's funnily-accented FBI agent to Leo's "Do you concur?" to the locale-hopping montages. Christopher Walken is excellent as Leo's father in a role that has always reminded me of his character in Pulp Fiction, minus the whole watch thing. The film also looks pretty interesting next to Confessions on this list -- what with all the forgeries and lies and double lives and government agents. I give this one the higher ranking because it's probably the "better" film of the two. And it doesn't have Julia Roberts.

5) Gangs of New York
Directed by: Martin Scorcese
Written by: Jay Cocks, Steven Zaillian, and Kenneth Lonergan
Starring: Leonardo DiCaprio, Daniel Day-Lewis, Cameron Diaz, John C. Reilly, Brendan Gleeson, Liam Neeson

...and here's the previously-mentioned awards bait. This was very nearly the apex of the "Please Give Me an Oscar" stage of Scorcese's career, although not nearly as egregious as 2004's The Aviator. That said, it's a damn fine film that, while probably a little (a lot?) long, could have -- and perhaps should have -- won some major awards. Scorcese himself was a near miss, and I still say that D-Day was robbed -- robbed, I say! -- for his iconic performance as Bill the Butcher, easily one of my favorite performances of the decade. And look at that supporting cast! Gleeson was incredible, Reilly showed a menacing side that we might not get to see again now that he's in the Ferrell/McKay stable, and Neeson and Jim Broadbent showed why they're some of the best in the business. Oh, and something about Leonardo DiCaprio and Cameron Diaz (the movie is not good because of them, although Leo is pretty decent here). And what's with that U2 song on the end credits? Yuck. Final point: This film wouldn't be on this list if it weren't for Day-Lewis.

4) Hero
Directed by: Zhang Yimou
Written by: Feng Li, Ben Wang, and Zhang Yimou
Starring: Jet Li, Tony Leung, Maggie Cheung, Zhang Ziyi

Okay, Hero didn't actually get released in the U.S. until 2004, when it was released under the ridiculous moniker Quentin Tarantino Presents Hero. I actually saw this sometime in 2003 because my girlfriend at the time got some sort of pirated copy or something (she was Chinese). I was immediately blown away -- I still hadn't seen much Asian cinema at the time (although the movie is even better now that I have). Leung and Cheung steal the show (as they are wont to do), as Chris Doyle's (one of the only boy status DPs) absolutely GORGEOUS cinematography. Pure spectacle. The political ideology the film espouses my be controversial (ditto 2007's similar The Curse of the Golden Flower), but anyone that watches this for politics is watching for the wrong reasons.

3) Adaptation.
Directed by: Spike Jonze
Written by: Charlie Kaufman & Donald Kaufman
Starring: Nicolas Cage, Chris Cooper, Meryl Streep, Brian Cox

When I was thinking about what to say about this movie, it occurred to me that I might have actually seen this movie at the now-defunct Harkins Poca Fiesta 4. MAN, that place was a dump. Some of my friends probably have TVs bigger than the screens there. Wow. Anyway, that place was beat-up, run-down, pretty much all around crappy... but not without a certain charm. Kind of like Chris Cooper's character in this movie. (Yeah, I know that segue was tenuous... very Matt Berry-esque of me.) Regardless, Cooper won an Oscar for his portrayal of orchid thief John Laroche, the main character of Susan Orlean's The Orchid Thief, the book of which this film is supposedly an adaptation. Meryl Streep probably should have won an Oscar for her portrayal of Orlean herself. Nic Cage was up for an Oscar for his portrayal of screenwriter Charlie Kaufman and his fictitious brother Donald. And Charlie Kaufman himself DEFINITELY should have won him an Oscar for his completely bonkers -- yet funny, touching, and smart -- script about how hard it is to adapt a book about flowers. Genius stuff, really. Final note: Brian Cox almost steals the entire movie in his scenes as screenwriting guru Robert McKee. It's a good thing he didn't succeed, or no one would have seen this brilliant movie. And Cox would probably be on the run from the law, which would suck, because he's awesome.

2) Punch-Drunk Love
Directed by: Paul Thomas Anderson
Written by: Paul Thomas Anderson
Starring: Adam Sandler, Emily Watson, Philip Seymour Hoffman, Luis Guzman

Gotta love it when comedic actors go dramatic. Some of my favorite movies of the decade -- this, Lost in Translation, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind -- feature noted funny men in more serious roles.  I wonder, though, if we think these movies -- I probably actually more mean the performances -- are so good because there's an element of novelty to seeing, for example, a man who once fought a penguin for nudey magazines showing a powerful range of emotion. Or a man who once tried to blow up gophers with dynamite looking forlorn and world-weary. Or Ace Ven-fucking-tura himself conveying real, painful heartbreak. I don't think it's a case of novelty. I think it's rather *because* these men debase themselves so thoroughly on a regular basis that they're able to tap so deeply into those emotional veins. Whatever the case, Happy Gilmore showed himself capable of someday winning an Oscar in this film (and in Reign Over Me, and in Spanglish) if the right role comes along. Someday it might -- it nearly did for Murray, although it may already have for Carrey. The last thing I want to mention (although there are many more that I could have) is Jon Brion's absolutely berserk score. It compliments Sandler's emotional turbulence so well it's scary.

1) 28 Days Later
Directed by: Danny Boyle
Written by: Alex Garland
Starring: Cillian Murphy, Naomie Harris, Brendan Gleeson, Christopher Eccleston

No offense (which means I can say anything I want) Danny Boyle, but FUCK YOU. Claim what you want, but this is a zombie movie. You can call them infected all you want, but this is a fucking zombie movie. Yes, you use the controversial "zoombie" in lieu of the traditional, shambling Romero zombie, and *I guess* technically they're still alive, but they run around en masse trying to bite (eat?) humans. THAT'S A ZOMBIE.

Rant over. Regardless of nomenclature, calling this a zombie movie might even be a misnomer, since it's more about social commentary than blood and guts (although it does not hold back in that department). Maybe this is one of the best post-apocalyptic movies of all time (although, this time around, the apocalypse is localized to Britain). Whatever genre you decide to peg this movie into, it's one of my favorites of the decade. The sheer amount of talent involved is ridiculous -- Boyle (no stranger to crossing genre lines) speaks for himself, but Garland is an amazing novelist (The Beach is totally, unappreciatedly genius) and screenwriter (this, Sunshine), and John Murphy is easily one of my favorite film composers (along with the aforementioned Brion, Clint Mansell, and Phillip Glass), and Murphy is definitely boy status. This is just a perfectly-made film; I'm not sure there is a way this film could have been better. It's rare to come across a film like that. From the haunting shots at the beginning of a deserted London to the frantic chase sequences to the climactic escape from the military compound, the film is shot, scripted, acted, and scored perfectly. That's why it's #1 here.

That, and because it's a zombie movie.

Well, I only mildly succeeded in the whole "shorter" thing -- this was closer to 2500 words than 3000. So that's good. Well, whether you found it controversial or conformist, I hope you enjoyed reading. I'll tackle the albums of '02 in due time. Until then...

Movies of 2009

Now, it's movie time. No, not the seminal video rental store in the Village of Oak Creek where pretty much all my high school friends worked at, but time to bust out my top movie list. I'll keep this simple -- ten that missed the cut (alphabetized), then top 10 proper (ranked). Again, no times for write ups now (probably when I finish this damn thing). Enjoy.

Near Misses
(500) Days of Summer
The Brothers Bloom
Drag Me to Hell
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince
Moon
A Perfect Getaway
A Serious Man
Star Trek
Up
Up in the Air


My Top 10 Movies of 2009
10) Adventureland
9) District 9
8) Pandorum
7) Watchmen
6) An Education
5) The Hangover
4) Zombieland
3) The Hurt Locker
2) Avatar
1) Inglourious Basterds





Finally, and because I can't make this point clear enough, The Single Worst Film of 2009, Bar None:

Where the Wild Things Are

I had no expectations -- literally, none -- and I was floored at how godawful it was. I spent much of the last 35-40 minutes staring at the ceiling and waiting for it to be over. Just completely uninvested. The technical achievements were notable, and I think no worse of the (considerable) talent behind it, but let this be a lesson in hubris to filmmakers -- some things are unfilmable... and first and foremost among these things is a children's book with less than 15 sentences TOTAL between its pages. Just not enough story. It would've been better to go avant-garde and abandon any pretense of narrative (and you know Jonze could pull it off). Instead, 100 minutes of temper tantrums of the quality you can find at any toy store in America. They should've just called it Angst: The Movie or The Invention of Emo. Rant over.

Again, thanks for reading!

Music of 2009

I don't have the time to do write-ups now, but I wanted to post my Best of 2009 lists. First up is music. I've listed 25 albums, but only the top 10 are ranked (the rest are alphabetical). I've also listed my list of favorite songs that would fit onto one of those silly compact discs. Again, should be a pretty good mix of critically acclaimed and ignored, elitist and populist, and maybe even a little wizard rock. I've also included a list of albums I was underwhelmed with. Feel free to weigh in:

Top 25 Albums (Or, My Favorite 25 Albums), 25-11:
Bob Dylan - Together Through Life
Brand New - Daisy
The Bravery - Stir the Blood
Dredg - The Pariah, The Parrot, The Delusion
Four Year Strong - Explains It All
Fun. - Aim and Ignite
Jay-Z - The Blueprint 3
The Lawrence Arms - Buttsweat and Tears [EP]
The Lonely Island - Incredibad
Muse - The Resistance
New Found Glory - Not Without a Fight
Paramore - Brand New Eyes
The Parselmouths - Spattergroit
Passion Pit - Manners
Thrice - Beggars
Top 10:
10) Phoenix - Wolfgang Amadeus Phoenix
9) Set Your Goals - This Will Be the Death of Us
8) Franz Nicolay - Major General
7) The Decemberists - The Hazards of Love
6) Metric - Fantasies
5) Brendan Benson - My Old, Familar Friend
4) Tegan and Sara - Sainthood
3) Meg and Dia - Here, Here and Here
2) Lucero - 1372 Overton Park
1) Big D and the Kids Table - Fluent in Stroll



The following is a list of albums that, for whatever reason (well, I'll actually give you the reasons), I was underwhelmed by this year. Some probably just require more listening, but I was let down initially. Here's my "All-Meh" Albums of the Year:

Animal Collective - Merriweather Post Pavilion (I just don't get this band - Zzzzzzzzz)
Arctic Monkeys - Humbug (Album title captures all too well its mood)
The Dead Weather - Horehound (A few standouts, but a LOT of filler)
Eminem - Relapse (Just... not good. At all... lost his edge)
Green Day - 21st Century Breakdown (Can you go back to writing good pop-punk songs, please?)
Manchester Orchestra - Mean Everything to Nothing (I tried... and tried, but this record doesn't do much for me)
Silversun Pickups - Swoon (The band is a one-trick pony... with one leg)
Them Crooked Vultures - Them Crooked Vultures (definitely need to listen to this one more... but it just seems like another QotSA record)
Weezer - Raditude (Fun enough, but Rivers has spent his cachet by now)

Finally, the songs. Rather than trying to rank them (harder than albums), I've just included my 'Best of 2009' playlist. Fits on a CD or an iPod! Here it be:

Big D and the Kids Table - "Not Fucking Around"*
The Bravery - "I Have Seen the Future"
Brendan Benson - "A Whole Lot Better"
Chuck Ragan - "Glory"
Death Cab For Cutie - "Little Bribes"
The Decemberists - "The Rake's Song"
Dredg - "Saviour"
Foo Fighters - "Wheels"
Franz Nicolay - "Nightratsong"
Fun. - "All the Pretty Girls"
Jay-Z (et al.) - "Run This Town"
The Lawrence Song - "The Slowest Drink At The Saddest Bar On The Snowiest Day In The Greatest City"*
The Lonely Island - "Like a Boss"*
Lucero - "What Are You Willing to Lose"
Meg & Dia - "Black Wedding"
Metric - "Gold Guns Girls"
New Found Glory - "Listen to Your Friends"
Paramore - "Playing God"
The Parselmouths - "Being a Veela Is Easy"
Passion Pit - "Little Secrets"
Phoenix - "1901"
Tegan & Sara - "The Cure"
Thrice - "The Weight"

*One of these is the best song of the year. For the life of me, I can't decide right now. Thanks for reading!

2001 playlist

Here are some of my favorite jams from 2001 that you could hypothetically burn onto a compact disc. If, you know, people still actually listened to those things. Listed alphabetically (according to iTunes anyway):

Alien Ant Farm - "Smooth Criminal"
Ben Folds - "Annie Waits"
blink-182 - "Anthem, Pt. 2"
Bob Dylan - "Mississippi"
Brand New - "Jude Law and a Semester Abroad"
Gorillaz - "Clint Eastwood"
Green Day - "Poprocks and Coke"
Incubus - "Wish You Were Here"
Jimmy Eat World - "A Praise Chorus"
Lostprophets - "The Fake Sound of Progress"
Rx Bandits - "VCG3"
Saves the Day - "At Your Funeral"
The Shins - "New Slang"
The Strokes - "Last Nite"
System of a Down - "Chop Suey"
Tenacious D - "Tribute"
Tool - "Schism"
Weezer - "Island in the Sun"
The White Stripes - "Dead Leaves and the Dirty Ground"
311 - Amber

Top 10 Albums: 2001

Before I get started, I need someone to explain something to me:  What is the deal with The Strokes?  I mean, I've heard The Strokes. I enjoy The Strokes (to an extent). I understand that they are the prototypical "New York" band that paved the way for many a hipster act. What I don't understand is how they are widely considered one of -- if not the -- best bands of the decade. I find their 2001 breakout album, Is This It to be ironically-titled... because that's exactly what I thought when I first listened to the record. "Okay... is this it?" I didn't get it, and I still don't, even though I've since softened my stance on the band. But still... pleasant-enough tunes, monotone vocals, and an excess of style a transcendental band do not make.  Good jukebox fodder? Yes. Better than most of the stuff around in the late '90s/early 2000s? Absolutely. But a best-of-decade, generation-defining band? Sorry, but no. Oh, and I'm not too crazy about the Radiohead or Shins albums released this year either. Sorry.

Moving on, 2001 was an interesting year -- this list features an eclectic list of solid releases from '90s stalwarts and early stuff from some of the new decade's finest. This is also the year I graduated from high school and started at ASU, so it was interesting to see how my taste in music started to diverge. Here's my top 10:

Honorable mentions: blink-182 - Take Off Your Pants and Jacket (I actually really like blink... a late scratch from the top 10 though), Green Day - International Superhits! (still my favorite Green Day album, if only for the inclusion of J.A.R.), Lostprophets - The Fake Sound of Progress (ah, remember nu metal?... this record is actually pretty good though), Lucky Boys Confusion - Throwing the Game (a pop-punk gem), 311 - From Chaos (this band is better than they get credit for), Weezer - Green Album (another late scratch from the top 10... "hip, hip").

10) The Strokes - Is This It
Produced by: Gordon Raphael
Standout tracks: "Someday," "Last Night," "Hard to Explain"

I know, I know. I just spent the entire intro to this entry trashing The Strokes. But what can I say, Is This It is a hard record not to like. It's actually a pretty excellent collection of toe-tappers and bar jams. The mood lifts when any of its singles come on the juke, and it's even kind of dance-y, so it's not entirely out of place in trendier uptown joints. It's even good driving music. It's just a fun, versatile record. They even throw a little Tom Petty homage in there. Okay, so they actually pretty much lifted the riff from "American Girl," but Mr. Petty is on record as saying he doesn't mind, so it's all water under the bridge. This *is* a good record... just don't try to tell me it's capital-g Great.


9) The White Stripes - White Blood Cells
Produced by: Jack White
Standout tracks: "Dead Leaves and the Dirty Ground," "Fell in Love With a Girl," "I Can't Wait"

One of the great, underrated things about 2001 is the influx of "The" bands. The Strokes. The White Stripes. The Vines. The Hives. It seemed like every new, catchy, vaguely-garage rock band that came out was a "The" band. Lazy band-naming or homage to the British Invasion bands of the '60s (Beatles, Kinks, Byrds, Who, et al.)? You decide.

At any rate, The White Stripes were easily the best of the bunch, and a band that has a legitimate claim to being Band of the Decade -- and this was the record that introduced most people to them. While it's not their most accomplished record (that would be 2003's Elephant), White Blood Cells is definitely a highlight in their oeuvre. It's loud, raw, full of big, Zeppelin-esque riffs and concussive rhythms. "Dead Leaves and the Dirty Ground" is easily the best album opener of the year, announcing an album that's proudly, aggressively lo-fi -- simple, unfettered rock 'n' roll.

8) Rx Bandits - Progress
Produced by: Chris Fudurich
Standout tracks: "VCG3," "Analog Boy," "Babylon," "Who Would've Thought"

 The Bandits' 1999 release Halfway Between Here and There was a fairly stereotypical (although pretty darn good) third-wave ska record, full of bouncy horn lines and songs about girls. Their very next release two years later, Progress, however, was a complex, genre-bending mini-masterpiece full of songs about technology, social injustice, and politics. Say what? In two years, the band went from an unremarkable Drive-Thru records band to a socially-conscious, indie-ska-jam band (I still don't know what to make of their live show). To put this into another context, it would be like The Beatles releasing Sgt. Pepper's immediately after Please Please Me. Rarely has a band transformed so drastically from one album to the next. Whatever the cause, I'm glad they did it. My iTunes is full of unremarkable third-wave ska acts, but there's hardly anything in it like Progress.

7) Incubus - Morning View
Produced by: Incubus and Scott Litt
Standout tracks: "Circles," "Wish You Were Here," "Are You In?"

There was a time (probably most of the early part of the decade) when Incubus was my favorite band. I'm not sure how I got into them (I just spent about 10 minutes trying to remember how I even heard of them... couldn't do it), but S.C.I.E.N.C.E. was the first record of theirs I got a hold of. I just loved its electro-funk-rap/rock craziness. This record was about as far from that vibe as I could have imagined when I played it for the first time. I didn't care though -- one of the things I've always loved about Incubus is their refusal to stick to one particular sound (although I think their newest effort, Light Grenades, is largely derivative of earlier material... namely, this record). Morning View, then, is their "mellow" record. It's full of deliberate, textured jams that play to the band's strengths -- Mike Eizinger's crafty guitarwork, DJ Kilmore's wonderfully subtle work on the turntable, and, of course, Brandon Boyd's unparalleled ability to not wear a shirt. Kidding... (not really, that guy can not wear the shit out of a shirt) but he's actually one of my favorite rock vocalists. Although it's not my favorite, or even the best, Incubus record, Morning View is still damn fine listening. "Wish You Were Here" (yeah, yeah, not nearly as good as the seminal Pink Floyd track) is one of my favorite songs of this year and one of many excellent love songs the band has written.

6) Tool - Lateralus
Produced by: Tool and David Bottrill
Standout tracks: "Schism," "Parabola," "Lateralus"

A couple months back, I had one of those legendary, 4:00 a.m. drunk conversations about music with a couple friends after a party had died down. These are always a tricky proposition -- tempers flare, the line between opinion and fact becomes skewed, and outrageous assertions are made. Sometimes, the police become involved (this seriously happened once). Fortunately, police involvement was not necessary on this occasion -- we all managed to agree that Tool would go down as one of the best, most important bands of our generation. Years down the line, they'll probably be remembered as one of the defining rock bands of all time. They'll probably be inducted into the Rock 'N' Roll Hall of Fame (whether or not they care is another question entirely). This record is a large reason why -- tribally powerful and artfully complex at the same time. It has everything from cat-squeezing ("Mantra") to the Fibonacci sequence ("Lateralus"). It also has some of the best drumming of all time, courtesy of Danny Carey. A true classic album. Does it get any more epic than "I know the pieces fit" over and over? The only reason it's not higher on the list is because, to me, it's just not something I can throw on any old time. I have to be in a specific mood to listen to Tool... that's not the case with the rest of the albums on this list.

5) Tenacious D - Tenacious D
Produced by: The Dust Brothers
Standout tracks: "Kielbasa," "Tribute," "Fuck Her Gently"

"Inward Singing." "Cock Push-Ups." "Drive-Thru." All classics.... and those are just the skits! It's not often that the so-called "filler" tracks on an album can be described as classics. But c'mon: "One is all you need." "A JUNIOR Western Bacon Chee. I'm trying to watch my figure." Eminently quotable and hilarious. And then there are the songs! Show me someone who doesn't know all the words to "Fuck Her Gently" and I'll show you a dirty, dirty liar. And do I even need to mention the genius of the line "Dianetics, your buttcheeks is warm"? Finally, there's "Tribute," which might actually be my favorite song of this year. A perfect blend of homage and hilarity. (There always seems to be one word that pops up too many times in a given entry... "homage" is it this time.) This album is just the perfect hybrid of laugh out loud comedy and balls-out rock. Literally.

4) Brand New - Your Favorite Weapon
Produced by: Mike Sapone and Brand New
Standout tracks: "Jude Law and a Semester Abroad," "Failure by Design," "Last Chance to Lose Your Keys," "Magazines," "Soco Amaretto Lime"

The last four albums on this list are all important records to me for various reasons. They'd all be in serious contention for Top 25 of the Decade consideration. First up is Brand New's debut record, Your Favorite Weapon. I was introduced to Brand New by a girl in an English class my junior year of ASU, and the record she showed me at Hoodlums in the M.U. (R.I.P.) was Deja Entendu (which immediately blew my mind). What I'm trying to say is that I didn't hear YFW until after the fact. I was sort of leery, to be honest. From what I had understood, YFW was basically a pop-punk record, whereas Deja was (is) probably one of the most accomplished albums of the decade (sort of like the leap between the Rx Bandits albums). What I didn't know, and what I found out, was that YFW is one of the best pop-punk records of all time. Sure, it's mostly three chords of angst and songs about girls, but it has a certain panache and underlying current of genius that just isn't there is most (or any) pop-punk records. "Last Chance to Lose Your Keys" is probably the best, most authentic song about girl problems ever ("It's girls like you that make me think I'm better off / home on a Saturday night / With all my doors locked up tight / I won't be thinking about you, baby"). "Soco Amaretto Lime" is one of the best slow-jam, singalong album closers around. I could go on (I haven't even mentioned "Jude Law"), but I'll stop here. A *remarkable* pop-punk record that definitely anticipates Deja if you listen close enough.

3) Jimmy Eat World - Bleed American
Produced by: Mark Trombino and Jimmy Eat World
Standout tracks: "A Praise Chorus," "Your House," "Sweetness," "If You Don't, Don't"

Jimmy Eat World is one of my favorite bands of this decade. (I know, they've been around for a while, but they are definitely a product of the 2000s.) That much I know. What I don't know is what my favorite Jimmy record is. Clarity is their most iconic and perhaps most influential. Futures is their most musically accomplished. Chase This Light is their catchiest. What, then, does that make this record? Their biggest? That's obvious, but it doesn't really say anything about the songs not named "The Middle." Their best? That's a question you could ask four (or five) different people and get four (or five) different answers to. Too subjective. Honestly, I'm not sure how this record fits into the band's catalog or how it will be remembered, but it settles in on this list nicely at #3. The singles (you know them all, and know them well) are uniformly excellent, perfect pop rock masterpieces. The album tracks are the ones that make this album worth listening to again and again though. "Your House" is one of the most heart-rending songs I've heard... "I had you once / Oh, I can't forget that / Sometimes I wish / I could lose you again." Yikes. "If You Don't, Don't" is probably one of their most underrated songs -- so, so great, yet I never hear anyone talk about it. All I know is that it's gone on more than a few mixes I've made. "Hear You Me," "The Authority Song"... I could go on, but, again, I won't. Like I said, I don't know how this record will be remembered, but I know it will.

2) Saves the Day - Stay What You Are
Produced by: Rob Schnapf
Standout tracks: "At Your Funeral," "Jukebox Breakdown," "As Your Ghost Takes Flight," "All I'm Losing Is Me"

I'll be honest with you: I have probably four other Saves the Day albums on my iTunes. I'll also tell you that I've can count on my fingers and toes the amount of times I've listened to them all *combined*. Why? Because I know, with complete, utter certainty, that they aren't -- can't be -- as good as this record. Again, why? Because none of them contain the song "At Your Funeral." Here's another Hoodlums story: My freshman year at ASU, I spent most of my time in my dorm, playing Madden 2002 or Final Fantasy X, drinking Pepsi by the 12 pack, masturbating to dial-up porn, having awkward roommate moments, and watching whatever college-oriented music video channel ASU had access to. Anyway, the video for "At Your Funeral" came on one afternoon. I was blown away. Hoodlums had one less copy of Stay What You Are by dinner time is what I'm trying to say. *That's* how good this song is. If you don't believe me, I've included the video below. Watch it. Love it. The rest of the album is almost as amazing as that song, full of quirky little three-minute gems about teenage tragedy, awkward silences, and obsessive (and perhaps murderous) ex-lovers. In short, there's something everyone can relate to. Now, watch this video:



I really do miss the old days sometimes.

1) Ben Folds - Rockin' the Suburbs
Produced by: Ben Folds and Ben Grosse
Standout tracks: "Annie Waits," "Zak and Sara," "Rockin' the Suburbs," "The Luckiest"

Ben Folds is solely responsible for me being the person I am today. Okay, that's not exactly true, but if you buy into the whole hyperbolic "music is central to my being" shit that people post in their facebook interests, then the statement is pretty close to the truth. That is to say, Ben Folds is pretty much the reason that I'm not still listening to shitty nu metal and power pop. I somehow stumbled into a little record called Whatever and Ever Amen (I think I saw the video for "Brick" on this weird show on MTV2 where a bunch of parents would watch videos and decide if they would let their kids watch... I don't think "Brick" passed the test... too depressing) and I was not the same after that (get it??). I very much doubt there's a more influential record to me. At any rate, this is about Rockin' the Suburbs, Mr. Folds's first record after he dropped the Five (actually just two other dudes) responsible for Whatever et al. It's also the second best record in his catalog, after... oh, that should be obvious. Here, Folds shows the same combination of rollicking smart-aleck tracks (the eponymous track, "Zak," "Fired") and emotional, introspective compositions ("Still Fighting It," "Fred Jones, Part 2," "Luckiest") that endears him to his many legions of fans and irritates his many critics.  He may never release a record as good as Whatever again, but I love him for trying (and this one comes close). This (along with many of the other records on this list) was the soundtrack to many a drive to and from Sedona. Oh, nostalgia. Mr. Folds has a lyric on one of his later records goes a little something like this: "[Kids today] get nostalgic about the last ten years / before the last ten years have passed." So true. Thank you, Mr. Folds, for the memories, and for saving me from nu metal.

Wow, I managed to keep this one under 3000 words... huzzah! Maybe some of these albums spark a memory or two for you as well... good ones, I hope! Good night, all... until next time.

Golden Globes Ramble

To start, a list of reasons why the Golden Globes are "better" (again, this is a subjective term) than the Oscars:

5) The awards are given by the Hollywood Foreign Press Association (HFPA). The ceremony is basically a bunch of foreign entertainment reporters feting their favorite celebrities (how else to explain Julia Roberts's nomination?). I just imagine a bunch of foreign white guys a la "Two Wild and Crazy Guys" sitting around and deciding what movies they like in outlandish accents. Sounds awesome.

4) Because of this (and other factors, explained below), the Globes tend to take more chances than the Oscars. I mean, just look at last year, where Colin Farrell picked up an award for his performance in In Bruges. Okay, so his acceptance speech was a bit weepy and rambling, but it was more entertaining than anything that happened at the Oscars. My point is that neither the performance nor the movie ever had a chance at winning an Oscar. The Globes open things up a bit.

3) There is no host! Well, at least most of the time. This is the first year I can remember the Globes actually having a host, as they named Ricky Gervais the emcee of this year's ceremony. They couldn't have picked a better man -- Gervais is definitely not afraid to make people uncomfortable. No one in the room will  be immune from his barbs. Usually though, the Globes goes sans host -- and the lack of a monotonous presence only adds to the chaos that is Globes night.

2) The Globes actually recognize comedic performances! This is the biggest thing that annoys me about the Oscars -- generally, only one kind of movie (drama) has any real shot at winning. The Globes actually have separate categories for comedic films and performances (they also, for some reason, include musicals in this category, but it's an imperfect world). They do muck things up a bit by lumping supporting performances and screenplays together, but too many categories would probably slow the ceremony. But I love that they give comedies their proper... er... props.

1) THEY SERVE BOOZE. If you've ever watched the Globes ceremony, you've probably noticed a little rosy-cheeked affability about the place, as opposed to the staid stateliness of the Oscars. It's because everyone's buzzin' pretty good... if not legally drunk. This leads to many more off-the-cuff moments, such as Farrell's self-depreciating cocaine joke or Seth Rogan's Mickey Rourke-depreciating cocaine joke last year. Let's just put it this way: you're not gonna hear a lot of cocaine jokes at the Oscars. And THAT'S why the Globes are "better" than the Oscars.

At any rate, the Globes are probably the best-known Oscar precursor, so I figure it's worth exploring the nominations a little bit. I'll even offer some predictions, although I will add the qualifier that I haven't historically tracked the HFPA's voting tendencies like I have AMPAS's. That is to say, I really have no idea what will happen at the Globes ceremony. But I think the magic of the Globes is that no one else does either! So, enjoy, if you're into that sort of thing.

Best Screenplay - Motion Picture

District 9 -- Neill Blomkamp, Terri Tatchell
The Hurt Locker -- Mark Boal
Inglourious Basterds -- Quentin Tarantino
It's Complicated -- Nancy Meyers
Up in the Air -- Jason Reitman, Sheldon Turner

I would have liked to see The Hangover, Up, The Brothers Bloom, (500) Days of Summer, and/or A Serious Man here, but, like I said, the HFPA lumps all screenplays (original and adapted, drama and comedy) into one category, so a lot of films are gonna miss the cut. That said, I have little problem with this group. The only oddball nomination is District 9, which, from what I understand, was largely improvised. But it's good to see the film get a nomination somwhere -- it really was one of the more pleasant surprises of the year. I think it was probably the last one in anyway, so I'll leave it out of the rest of the discussion for that reason. Of the rest of the contenders, the only one I haven't seen (yet -- to be rectified soon) is Up in the Air. That one figures to be the frontrunner here, perhaps with Mark Boal's script for The Hurt Locker as the most likely challenger. As much as I loved Basterds (and Q's excellent script), I figure that the voters will feel that Christoph Waltz's seemingly-inevitable win for Supporting Actor is enough to honor the film as a whole. Meyers's script, while entertaining, probably doesn't have the weight to pull off a win here. I'm looking for Reitman and Turner to win for Up in the Air.

Best Performance by an Actress in a Supporting Role in a Motion Picture
Penélope Cruz -- Nine
Vera Farmiga -- Up in the Air
Anna Kendrick -- Up in the Air
Mo'Nique -- Precious: Based on the Novel Push by Sapphire
Julianne Moore -- A Single Man

Here's a fun fact:  I haven't seen any of these performances! I'll probably have rectified that by the time the ceremony rolls around, but just know that the following is pure conjecture. Just looking at the nominees, it just seems set up for Mo'Nique to win for a role in a movie that I really have no interest in seeing. Just not my kind of subject matter. Sorry. Anyway, Nine has been shat on by the critics which, while it doesn't exactly sound the death knell for Cruz, the fat lady is warming up in between pints of ice cream. Haven't heard anything about Moore's performance (the movie is Firth's show, from what I've heard), but I could see the voters giving a respected veteran a long overdue win if they don't go for Mo'Nique because... the Up in the Air chicks are probably gonna split the vote. It's tough to see either of them pulling it off over the other with some of the other options out there. So you'll probably see Mo'Nique take the stage next month for the W.

Best Performance by an Actor in a Supporting Role in a Motion Picture
Matt Damon -- Invictus
Woody Harrelson -- The Messenger
Christopher Plummer -- The Last Station
Stanley Tucci -- The Lovely Bones
Chrisoph Waltz -- Inglourious Basterds

Again, I'll start with the disclaimer of what I haven't seen (hey, this is what you get for living in Arizona):  Invictus, The Lovely Bones, and The Last Station. I'll definitely be seeing the former two, but probably not the latter. With that out of the way, does anybody really see Plummer or Tucci taking this? Me neither. The HFPA clearly likes Damon (to the tune of two nominations), but I'm not convinced his role in Invictus is a statue-winning one, even if the statue is a knockoff of the Larry O'Brien Trophy. Harrelson is an interesting candidate -- his performance as a recovering alcoholic/Desert Shield "vet" is at once tortured and blanky funny. They could go the vet route and pick him, but the smart money is on Christoph Waltz as Hans Landa, definitely one of the most memorable characters of the year, if not the decade. Perhaps the finest performance Tarantino has directed (although Robert Forster in Jackie Brown is tough in this category).

Best Performance by an Actress in a Motion Picture - Musical or Comedy
Sandra Bullock -- The Proposal
Marion Cotillard -- Nine
Julia Roberts -- Duplicity
Meryl Streep -- It's Complicated
Meryl Streep -- Julie & Julia

I've seen precisely one of these -- Streep in It's Complicated. Pardon me if I don't see every chick flick and musical that comes out. Obviously, I could care less about who wins this award (this of course being the downside of recognizing comedic performances). I mostly enjoyed It's Complicated, so I wouldn't mind seeing her win here. However, she's been getting more publicity and acclaim for Julia & Julia (which is probably a lock for an Oscar nom as well), so it'll be pretty tough to unseat that performance here. Roberts probably has no shot (again, the Globes are as unpredictable as it gets), but Bullock and Cotillard both have the cachet to take home the statue. Bullock is having an even better year that Streep (if that's possible), what with the double nomination and box office numbers. Cotillard is fresh off Oscar gold and is probably the best shot for Nine, which the HFPA clearly loved (it garnered five noms, second only to Up in the Air), to take home a major award. Lots to ponder, but for now I'm going with the favorite, Meryl Streep for Julia & Julia.

Best Performance by an Actor in a Motion Picture - Musical or Comedy
Matt Damon -- The Informant!
Daniel Day-Lewis -- Nine
Robert Downey, Jr. -- Sherlock Holmes
Joseph Gordon-Levitt -- (500) Days of Summer
Michael Stuhlbarg -- A Serious Man

I've seen everything here but Nine -- I may or may not rectify that while it's in theaters. It probably depends on how much Oscar love the flick gets. Not a big musical fan. Moving on. I definitely have no idea how this category is shaping up -- I definitely didn't see Farrell winning here last year (even though I would've voted for him). Some of these nominations are a bit odd -- for example, how do you nominate Streep in It's Complicated but not Alec Baldwin? Their interplay made the movie. Similarly, how do you nominate JGL (what the cool kids call Joseph Gordon-Levitt) and not Zooey Deschanel? Perplexing. Anyway, I don't see D-Day (Daniel Day-Lewis, not Bruce McGill from Animal House) as a serious threat here, not with the withering reviews directed at his picture (and his singing ability). And as much as I love him -- in general and in this movie -- I'm not sure RDJ (what the cool kids call... oh, surely you get this by now) has a big chance either, what with the relatively ambivalent reviews for Holmes (although his would be a great acceptance speech, and they might just give it to him for the press it would bring). (500) Days of Summer got a lot more love than I would have thought, but the other two nominees have more clout. Stuhlbarg is the journeyman vet and critic's darling, while Damon is probably due for some hardware at this point in his career and a major box-office star. It could really go either way, but I'm going with Michael Stuhlbarg for now. A Serious Man is probably on the outside looking in, Oscar-wise, but I could see the HFPA choosing to award it here.

Best Performance by an Actress in a Motion Picture - Drama
Emily Blunt -- The Young Victoria
Sandra Bullock -- The Blind Side
Helen Mirren -- The Last Station
Carey Mulligan -- An Education
Gabourey Sidibe -- Precious: Based on the Novel Push by Sapphire

Of the nominees, I've only seen Mulligan in An Education. I have no real desire to see any of the others (although, again, I will probably have to check out Precious at some point), so this is basically going to be a crapshoot. I think we can safely count Mirren out -- just doesn't seem the HFPA's style. Sidibe is also probably out since I can't see the film winning two major acting awards. The Young Victoria looks like a major period-piece snoozefest, but Emily Blunt is always worth watching (I especially enjoyed her in the under-appreciated Sunshine Cleaning earlier this year), so I could see her having a chance -- and she's a Globe vet, having been nominated for The Devil Wears Prada and actually winning for some miniseries or another. But the film seems to have absolutely no pulse right now (presumably similar to me after watching it). She's probably out. That leaves Mulligan and Bullock. They are both looking good for Oscar noms right now, so it should be interesting to see how this one plays out. I'm just going with a hunch here and saying that Mulligan wins the little gold man and Sandra Bullock wins here. Just a hunch.

Best Performance by an Actor in a Motion Picture - Drama
Jeff Bridges -- Crazy Heart
George Clooney -- Up in the Air
Colin Firth -- A Single Man
Morgan Freeman -- Invictus
Tobey Maguire -- Brothers

Another category where I haven't seen any of the nominated performances. Cool! Although it's useless for the purposes of this entry, I plan on seeing most of these by the end of the week (ah, the teacher's schedule -- nothing to do 'til the third week or January). I should be knocking out an Up in the Air/Invictus double feature tonight, followed by A Single Man and possibly Crazy Heart tomorrow. Most likely skipping Brothers -- although let's be honest, Maguire has no shot here. So I'm not worried about it. Anyway, most of these guys should be up for Oscars, so this is another race to pay attention to. The remaining four all have merit and impressive track records. Jeff Bridges is probably the most overdue man in Hollywood for some hardware (unless you don't count Peter O'Toole's honorary Oscar...) and could be primed for some major kudos this year. Clooney and Air are buzzing harder than than high school freshman after a couple wine coolers. "Voiceover" Morgan Freeman is always a threat, and Firth is another vet poised for a win. I think this is another case where the HFPA and AMPAS differ. I'm gonna say George Clooney gets the win here, but Bridges takes home the Oscar. I'll probably update this after I see some of these performances.

Best Director - Motion Picture
Kathryn Bigelow -- The Hurt Locker
James Cameron -- Avatar
Clint Eastwood -- Invictus
Jason Reitman -- Up in the Air
Quentin Tarantino -- Inglourious Basterds

The more I look at this category, the more I'm convinced that whatever wins the Best Motion Picture - Drama award will win this one as well. Of course, this award will be presented first, so it's probably more accurate to say that whoever wins here, that film will probably win the big prize. That said, the question remains: How much does the HFPA *really* like Avatar? Enough for it to beat out the critics' favorite (Hurt Locker) or the presumptive audience favorite (Air)? I think those are the three clear favorites now, meaning Eastwood and Tarantino are out in this category and Precious and Basterds are out in Picture (although it would make my night to see Tarantino and Basterds pull off the upsets). I guess I'm going to tip my hand here a little bit, but I think you're gonna hear Jason Reitman's name called up to the podium for this award. We'll finish this conversation in the Best Motion Picture - Drama section.

Best Motion Picture - Musical or Comedy
(500) Days of Summer
The Hangover
It's Complicated
Julia & Julia
Nine

Still need to check out Nine, will probably see Julia & Julia if/when Streep gets an Oscar nod. I think Nine was the presumptive frontrunner here, and I guess it could still get the Dreamgirls treatment (poor reviews, no Oscar love, but does well at the Globes). I could also see them ignoring it completely though. I'm just going to assume that's the case for now, unless it gets a surge of publicity/critical goodwill between now and then. I'm also going to ignore Julia & Julia -- I think the consensus is that it has the better Streep performance, but that It's Complicated is the better film. I also think the latter is a legitimate contender here. Again, I quite enjoyed Summer, but I think it's a bit too small of a picture to have a shot here. That leaves... The Hangover? Can an R-rated broad comedy really take home a major award like this? Well, if anyone has the balls to make it happen, it's the HFPA. Call me crazy, but I think they just might do it. If only because A) I have no idea how to pick this category, and B) I would love to see it happen, I'm going with the upset and picking The Hangover to win here.

Best Motion Picture - Drama
Avatar
The Hurt Locker
Inglourious Basterds
Precious: Based on the Novel Push by Sapphire
Up in the Air

If you've been paying attention, you should already know what I'm going to pick here. I think Up in the Air is probably gonna win. Precious won't be able to pull it off without its director being nominated, and Waltz is probably the only winner that Basterds will see. Avatar and Locker are nipping at Air's heels though... and I think one of them will overtake it on Oscar night. Granted I haven't seen it, but Air seems to be a bit too... light for AMPAS's tastes. I just really don't see it getting too much Oscar love. I think Avatar or Locker are much more likely contenders... and I wouldn't mind seeing either of them win, as I loved both. Still, I think the star power of Clooney and audience goodwill factor tips the balance to Air at the Globes.

That about wraps it up. Consider these my Globes predictions, although I'll probably put up a mock ballot the night before, and maybe a reactions piece once the winners are announced. And then... Oscar time! Eagerly awaiting 2/2/2010... for a multitude of reasons. Thanks for reading. Ciao.

Top 10 Movies: 2001

According to Arthur C. Clarke and Stanlry Kubrick, we were supposed to be sending manned missions to Jupiter and conversing with crazed computers in 2001. Well, no space-odysseying occurred (although that's not to say that artificial intelligence -- or Kubrick himself -- doesn't yet have a role to play). Obviously, 2001 wasn't the year of science fiction. It was, however, the year of fantasy, as the genre produced some of the biggest movies of all time in 2001 -- the first Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, Shrek films were all released. I'm not a huge fan of the early Harry Potter films or of Shrek in general, but I can see the appeal. What I cannot see the appeal of, however, is some of the other top-grossing and award-winning movies of 2001. There were some spectacularly shitty movies released -- check out 6-10 of the top 10 grossing films: Pearl Harbor, The Mummy Returns, Jurassic Park III, Planet of the Apes, and Hannibal. Are you ****ing kidding me? Now 9/11 starts to make sense... Moving on, 2001 was also responsible for perhaps the worst Oscars of the decade. A Beautiful Mind? Yawn. Denzel for Training Day? That was a make-up award. And don't even get me started on Halle Berry for Monster's Ball. That, however, doesn't even compare to the shafting Amélie got in Forgein Film. At least Fellowship of the Ring and Black Hawk Down cleaned up in the tech categories.

So, neither the populists nor the critics got much right in 2001. That said, it was actually a pretty strong year overall -- one of the strongest of the decade, truth be told. A lot of under-the-radar gems mixed with some true classics, both cult and otherwise. Here's my top ten:

Honorable mentions: Donnie Darko (R.I.P. Patrick Swayze), Apocalypse Now Redux (would've been in my top ten but I don't count rereleases) Ghost World (under-appreciated), The Man Who Wasn't There (Coens strike again), Wet Hot American Summer (check out the cast -- ridiculous).

10) Ocean's Eleven
Directed by: Stephen Soderbergh
Written by: Ted Griffen
Starring: George Clooney, Brad Pitt, Matt Damon, Julia Roberts

Another year, another Soderbergh movie at #10. Ocean's Eleven, however, is a markedly different type of film than Traffic. To carry the Steven Spielberg comparison from the last movie entry through, this is The Terminal to Traffic's Munich. Except, you know, this is way better than The Terminal and Traffic is no Munich. So yeah. That was confusing. But either way, two top-ten movies in two years is pretty impressive, especially considering how different they are.

Whereas Traffic was a testament to his filmmaking prowess, in Ocean's Eleven, Soderbergh wisely steps aside and allows his cast to be the center of attention. And what a cast it is -- perhaps the three biggest actors of the decade in Clooney, Pitt, and Damon, as wells as Roberts, Andy Garcia, and a host of talented supporting actors including Don Cheadle, the late Bernie Mac and Casey "Don't Call Me Ben" Affleck. The rapport of the cast combined with Soderbergh's flair behind the camera results in a film that oozes élan, whimsy, and bravura. And other fancy-sounding words. But seriously, look 'em it. Because they fit. Ocean's Eleven is far from the most memorable film of the decade, but it certainly is one of the most unabashedly entertaining -- and that counts for a lot on this list.

9) A.I. Artificial Intelligence
Directed by: Stephen Spielberg
Written by: Stephen Spielberg, Ian Watson
Starring: Haley Joel Osment, Jude Law, Frances O'Connor

If you've been paying attention, you would have known this was coming. If not, this may have come as somewhat of a surprise -- that is, unless you read the New York Times, where critic A.O. Scott has it listed as the number two movie of the decade. I'm definitely not going that far, but I do feel comfortable putting it in the top ten of its year. A.I. is somewhat of an aberration in Spielberg's oeuvre -- it experienced only middling success, both critically and financially -- and a definite anomaly as far as Kubrick (who originally conceived the film) is concerned, what with its undercurrent of sweet sentimentality. Add to that the out of left field last thirty minutes and this is just an odd, odd film.

It's one that has always stuck with me though, for that very combination of oddness and sweetness.  Osment really is perfect in the role of a child android (much in the same way that Keanu Reeves is perfect as Neo -- not really a compliment, by the way) adopted by O'Connor, bringing an eeriness to the role that helps to ramp up the tension. That tension comes to a crux when Osment is abandoned to the wilderness along with a mechanized teddy bear. He eventually encounters Jude Law as pleasure model android. Together, they traverse a landscape of similarly-abandoned machines that culminates in a kind of demolition derby of androids that always reminds me of the Sid's House sequence from the first Toy Story. Creepy stuff. And then that ending... one of the most talked about endings in cinema, both then and now. You can either attempt to understand it or ignore it completely, for if Bad Boys II has taught us anything, it's that you shouldn't judge a movie by its seemingly-tacked-on, out-of-left-field ending.

8) The Royal Tennenbaums
Directed by: Wes Anderson
Written by: Wes Anderson, Owen Wilson
Starring: Gene Hackman, Gwyneth Paltrow, Ben Stiller, Luke Wilson, Owen Wilson, Anjelica Huston

You've heard the one about the one-trick pony, right? (And no, I'm not talking about the lyrics to Bruce Springsteen's god-awful title track to The Wrestler.) You know, "Yeah, but it's a pretty good trick." Well, Wes Anderson isn't a pony, but his one trick is pretty good. He'll never eclipse Rushmore, but this film comes pretty close (as does The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou, which holds up surprisingly well to repeat viewings), with its nutjob characters, distinctive visuals, and charming quirkiness. These things aren't always enough (not the biggest fan of The Darjeeling Limited), but it is in Tennenbaums. Stiller, Paltrow and Wilson the Younger are the ubiquitously oddball siblings to Hackman's powerfully devious patriarch (how he didn't get a Supporting Actor nod is beyond me) Eventually, the whole cast (including supporters Danny Glover and Bill Murray) achieves a kind of Zen contentedness that only makes sense in a Wes Anderson movie. It's not something I want to watch all that often, but when the mood strikes, there's almost nothing that can substitute for it. Except maybe I Heart Huckabees.

7) Super Troopers
Directed by: Jay Chandrasekhar
Written by: Broken Lizard
Starring: Broken Lizard

Ah, Super Troopers. This movie came out of absolutely nowhere to become one of my favorite comedies of the decade. I saw it in a mall theater in a podunk town in northwestern New Mexico (I was staying there for the summer... long story) and it instantly improved my summer. It has everything -- mustaches, quotability, nudity, Brian Cox, mustaches, maple syrup chugging, Rod Farva, a bearfucker, and mustaches. If none of that makes sense to you, and I cannot stress this enough, SEE THIS MOVIE IMMEDIATELY. Catch up with the rest of the world.

Now, Broken Lizard (Chandasekhar, Kevin Heffernen, Steve Lemme, Paul Soter, Erik Stolhanske) has never done anything else even remotely this good. Never saw Puddle Cruiser, Club Dread kinda sucked, and Beerfest was amusing at best. However, there is a sequel in the works, so maybe they can regain some cred. The oft-rumored "PotQuest" sequel to Beerfest would be pretty funny too. But one thing is clear: these guys will never top this film. And, honestly, only a few comedies have this decade.

6) Brotherhood of the Wolf
Directed by: Cristophe Gans
Written by: Cristophe Gans, Stéphane Cabel
Starring: Samuel Le Bihan, Vincent Cassel, Mark Dacascos, Monica Bellucci

Probably the least-seen movie on this years list, Brotherhood of the Wolf is a gangbang of a genre mashup -- is it a horror movie? Martial arts movie? Period drama? Erotic thriller? The answer is, simply, "Yes." It's all of these things and more. And, obviously, it's in French. Le Bihan plays an adventurer/taxidermist who is tasked with with capturing a "beast" that is terrorizing a countryside town prior to the Revolution. Martial arts veteran Dacascos is his Native American sidekick who somehow knows kung fu (and utilizes it to great effect). Bellucci is a local madame who shows him a good time (and, for good measure, her boobs). Finally, the always awesome Cassel is the son of the local count/all-around creeper. There's also a conspiracy plot, a cool twist, stellar action scenes, and jaw-dropping visuals.

Brotherhood of the Wolf also marks the first important film of a guy who should have went on to become one of my favorite directors, Cristophe Gans. I say "should have" because he's only done one film since then (2006's criminally, nay, FELONIOUSLY under-rated, -appreciated, and misunderstood Silent Hill). His visual style is unmistakable -- moody, brooding, with a certain fantastic flair, which is all the cooler given his propensity to use in-camera effects instead of CGI. I'm eagerly awaiting his next film -- supposedly an adaptation of Capcom's Onimusha samurais-and-zombies video game franchise. Sounds about right.

5) Black Hawk Down
Directed by: Ridley Scott
Written by: Ken Nolan
Starring: Josh Hartnett, Eric Bana, Ewan McGregor, Tom Sizemore, William Fitchner

Ridley Scott has got to be up there in the running for best director of the decade. His films in the past ten years haven't always been good (Hannibal, Body of Lies) or important (Matchstick Men, A Good Year), but his films always demand attention. In the case of Black Hawk Down, it doesn't so much demand your attention as punch you in the face and scream at you to pay attention, you maggot. It's easily one of the best war movies of the decade, and Scott brings the same epic feel and visceral tone that he brought to Gladiator the previous year -- you can see every bullet, feel every explosion, and feel every piece of shrapnel. Try watching it on Blu-Ray with surround sound on. You can see why it won the Best Sound Oscar. Well, not see, but... you know. Whatever.

Finally, because it has to be said: I'm an unapologetic Josh Hartnett fan. Watch Lucky Number Slevin once or five times and it's almost impossible not to be. Anyway, he, and the rest of the cast, are stellar. Name me a consistently better supporting actor from the last ten years than Billy Fitch (what the cool kids call William Fitchner). You can't do it. A rare Tom Sizemore sober appearance is always appreciated. Even Ewan McGregor (secretly a really bad actor -- no, really, it's true) does a good job. Throw in great cameos from Jason Isaacs (a personal favorite), Jeremy Piven, Orlando Bloom, et al. and you've got the makings of a great ensemble. And I didn't even mention Eric Bana. I'd watch this cast in anything -- except a sequel to Body of Lies.

4) Mulholland Drive
Directed by: David Lynch
Written by: David Lynch
Starring: Naomi Watts, Laura Harring, Justin Theroux, Melissa George

I am honestly at a loss as to where to rank this movie. Maybe it's the seventh best movie of this year (where I originally had it ranked). Maybe it's the seventh best movie of the decade -- hell, maybe it's the best movie of the decade. There's certainly evidence out there to support that theory. I don't really have much to refute that point of view -- Mulholland Drive is certainly a memorable film, a neo-classic that is sure to be one of the first films that comes to mind when thinking of this decade. It's a Great Film -- capitals intentional. So what is it doing at #4 of this year? Good question. Since I'm kind of running the show around here, I might as well answer it:  It's because I *enjoy* the three films ahead of it on this list more. Are they intrinsically better films? Possibly, but not necessarily; again, that's not the point of this list, to determine which are the "best" films. It's merely my ten favorite films of the year -- and Mulholland Drive is my fourth favorite film of 2001. I think.

That said, if you haven't seen any of the top four films on this list (what's the rent like under that ROCK of yours?), I would, without hesitation, urge you to see Mulholland Drive first, and I'd immediately want to talk to you about how you interpreted it. What does it all fucking mean, Mr. Lynch? It's a well-known fact that he's not telling anytime soon, but that doesn't mean we can't try to figure it out ourselves. Was it all a dream? A hallucination? A fantasy? Or was it all real? Does it even matter? Is that the point? It's a goddamn clusterfuck of a puzzlebox of a movie, and only Lynch has the blue key. If you don't get the reference, SEE THE FREAKING MOVIE ALREADY.

Finally, I'll leave you with my favorite scene from the movie, the infamous "Winkie's Dream." Just watch:



3) A Knight's Tale
Directed by: Brian Helgeland
Written by: Brian Helgeland
Starring: Heath Ledger, Shannyn Sossamon, Rufus Sewell, Alan Tudyk, Paul Bettany

R.I.P. Heath Andrew Ledger, 4-4-1979 to 1-22-2008.


I like to talk about entertainment value -- I think it's a very core, very basic element of movies that often gets lost in the shuffle when critics start talking about movies. I know I've been guilty of this in the past, been caught up in the whole "cinema is art" thing a little too much. But then a movie like A Knight's Tale comes along every so often and reminds me why people watch movies in the first place -- to be entertained. And A Knight's Tale has entertainment value in spades -- 2 through Ace to be precise, every damn one of 'em. I cannot think of a movie that is just plain more *enjoyable* than this one. I just can't. I've seen it at least a dozen times since I first saw it in theaters my senior year of high school and I never get tired of it. The gleeful performances (yes, even Sewell's as one of the better villains of the decade), the hilarious anachronisms (that some people hate, for some reason), the heartfelt writing, Paul Bettany as a nudist Chaucer, Alan "Leaf in the Wind" Tudyk -- everything about the film is just so damn likable. I just LOVE this movie, even more than lamp or carpet. Maybe I'm crazy for saying it's the third best movie of 2001, but I have my principles and I'm sticking to them. Yes, Mr. Crowe, I am entertained! Oh wait, wrong movie... but the principle still applies. Entertainment value matters, dammit!

On a sadder note, this film is also the pièce de résistance of our annual Heath Andrew Ledger Memorial Film Festival, held every January 22nd, replete with Heath films and Fosters big cans. I encourage you to join us for this year's festivities (if you're in the Arizona area). Watch Facebook for an invite -- come pour some out for your boy Keith! (And yes, I realize I said Keith... just roll with it.)

2) Amélie
Directed by: Jean-Pierre Jeunet
Written by: Jean-Pierre Jeunet, Guillaume Laurant
Starring: Audrey Tautou, Mathieu Kassovitz, Dominique Pinon

My top five directors list looks something like this:
5) Ridley/Tony Scott (hey, the Coens can get away with it)
4) Michael Mann
3) The Coen Brothers
2) Jean-Pierre Jeunet
1) Uwe Boll... kidding!
1) Quentin Tarantino

That's just off the top of my head, but my point is this: Jean-Pierre Jeunet is a world-class badass of cinema. Sure, Amélie is sweet and sometimes cloying, but it's also a visual masterpiece and responsible for an entire generation of male cinephiles falling in love with Audrey Tautou. I mean, Jesse Lacey of Brand New (one of the best bands of this decade... see future music entries) even wrote a song called "Tautou." If you're in your twenties or early thirties and you've even *heard* of Amélie, chances are you're carrying a torch for Ms. Tautou. And you can thank Mr. Jeunet for that, for crafting this whirlwind of whimsy in which to showcase her talent. Jeunet is a master of the fantastical (which would be an awesome line in a freestyle rap), unafraid to be a little weird, a little oddball, whether it be in plot, casting (have you *seen* Dominique Pinon?), or even camera movement. He's always interesting to watch, and I eagerly await the stateside release of his next film.

Incidentally, you should check out his other films if you're uninitiated. Delicatessen is a devilishly stylish dystopian black comedy about cannibalism. City of Lost Children laid the groundwork for The Matrix and features a standout performance by Ron Perlman (and might be Jeunet's best film). Alien Resurrection... well, isn't as bad as people say. Not his finest work, but enjoyable. Amélie, see above. His follow-up, also featuring Tautou, is A Very Long Engagement, and it's almost as good as Amélie. He really is a wizard behind the camera, except he doesn't wear a pointy hat or carry a sweet staff.

1) The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring
Directed by: Peter Jackson
Written by: Peter Jackson, Fran Walsh, Phillipa Boyens
Starring: Elijah Wood, Sean Astin, Viggo Mortensen, Ian McKellan, Sean Bean, Orlando Bloom

Speaking of wizards... there was almost no way this wasn't going to be #1. Let's see... a spot-on adaptation of one of my favorite novels of all time with a great cast, groundbreaking visual effects, an amazing score, and a three hour run time? Sign me up! Easily the strongest film of the most epic, iconic film franchise of our time, Fellowship is really the film that the Academy should have awarded, rather than Return of the King. That way, some excellent 2003 films could have gotten their due and we could have avoided the poo-poo platter that was the 74th Academy Awards. Give it Picture, Director, Supporting Actor for McKellan, and heck, give Big Vig (again, what the cool kids call Viggo Mortensen) an Actor statue as well. Come to think of it, the acting as a whole in the Rings franchise was majorly under-appreciated by AMPAS. Are you telling me Viggo Mortensen didn't deserve a single nomination? Sean Astin? Andy Serkis? I mean, eschewing Liv Tyler (the single worst part of the trilogy), Orlando Bloom, and Elijah Wood I can understand, but don't let all the CGI trickery and stiff dialogue fool you -- there was some damn fine acting going on in these movies.

And as far as just sheer epic and iconic scenes goes, Fellowship has plenty. From the establishing shots of the Shire at the beginning of the film to your first glimpse of Mordor at the end, Peter Jackson manages to recreate a world that took author J.R.R. Tolkien four novels and umpteen THOUSANDS of pages of ersatz history and language and maps and myths to create. Sure, it took him over nine hours at the end of the day, but it's a singular accomplishment in film history. Not even Star Wars or Harry Potter can claim a similar achievement. Honestly, Avatar (which I just saw today) is the only thing that comes close, and James Cameron had to INVENT shit to achieve his goal. The Lord of the Rings trilogy is simply one of the most remarkable achievements in cinema history, and Fellowship is your entry point. From the Mines of Moria ("You shall not pass!") to Boromir's death, this movie is filled with the kinds of moments that people go to the movies for. Hence the number one slot on this list. And it wasn't even close.

So there's another basically unedited ramble. Some very stream of consciousness, Faulkner-esque shit. I'm thinking Benji rather then Quentin though, if you catch my drift. Anyway, thanks again for reading and let me know what you think. Music is up next...